Tuesday, February 19, 2013

"The Eye in the Deep" - An Animal Painting of an Octopus

"The Eye in the Deep"      4" x 5"     Acrylic on Canvas Panel

Just a few months after Levi first came home from the hospital (I think he was 4-5 months at that time and was still only around 6lbs) I tried my very first hand at daily painting, though my goal was a rather modest one - just one week. If I could get through just one week I would be so very proud of what I'd done. And so I worked small -really, really small. In fact, this was definitely my biggest work that whole week, and it's tiny. But when the end of the week came I had such a huge sense of satisfaction. I had completed my goal, and taken one step towards something I longed for deep within my being, and it felt FANTASTIC!!! =)

So, I'm thinking it's time for me to make yet another small goal again. I am a small goal type of girl anyways, so it makes sense. I mean, tell me to paint a single painting every single day for a whole year, and you've lost me. I'd love to do it, but there's no way on earth. But tell me to break it down piece by piece, and accomplish the little things, first one month, then two, then three and so on, checking off little marks on my calendar one by one, and then all of a sudden I'm there and I'm so, so happy about it!

But lately I feel like I'm in this constant state of letting people down. Letting myself down, my family, my friends, my God, even my fellow bloggers... With all my heart I want to be there completely for everyone, but I'm hardly even there for myself. And to top it all off I have this goal of wanting to paint every day, to reach this ridiculous yet wonderful goal of becoming a true daily painter, with the hopes that in some way God will use it in my life and in those around me. But my pain is bad - it's sooo, sooo bad lately (probably due to the rain, especially after all that emotional upheaval I hinted at before) and it's so hard getting myself back into it. I said a few days ago that I would be starting this daily painting up again - that the starfish painting was my new start. But it wasn't. But ya know, oh well. I'll just keep trying again and again and again if I have to. So here's my new goal: To finish or post 5 new works soon. Just 5. And just soon. No time frame. No failure involved. Just five simple paintings, and then I'll move on from there. =D I'm excited, and I know with God's faithful help it will lead to more. So may God bless you and may you have a wonderful day, and I really hope to see you all soon! =)

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