Saturday, March 16, 2013

"The One Who Sits, The One Who Soars" - An Abstract Painting by Melissa Adams

"The One Who Sits, The One Who Soars"     Acrylic on Illustration Board     2.75" x 3"
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Here's one of my quick little abstracts from way back when Levi was still an infant. It's pretty small, and I can see another potentially larger painting coming from this, if I ever get the time and am not extremely exhausted. I don't know what's been going on lately but I have been super exhausted - like every fiber of my being is rejecting any amount of work, no matter how small. I am napping and even with that I'm falling asleep around 9 at night, which is insane for me. I'm just pooped all day long, and even Ty is starting to feel it, because the less I can do, the more he has to, the poor guy! I really feel bad for him, but I'm not sure how I can help him when my body is acting this way. I can usually judge how well I'm feeling by how my hobbies are doing, as in if they exist or not, so you can see lately I just haven't had the time for any of it, which is generally a bad thing.

But hey, at least I finished my Chronic Pain Class on Thursday, so yay! I'm so very glad to be done with that, though it honestly did give me some great managing tools that I've been able to apply to my life that have helped a lot, and will continue to help as we move down this rocky path.

I'm really hoping to stay awake long enough tonight to be able to get some painting in, because I miss it immensely! I hope you're doing well and hope to talk to you soon!

Oh man, hold on, before I leave, I had the craziest thing happen the other night pain-wise. Like I said I've been going to bed super early, and on Thursday after pain class I put on some Capsaicin (it's a chili pepper pain med, that works to make your nerves non-receptive to normal pain signals. For example, you know those grandmas that can cut up a million jalapenos, wipe their eyes, and not feel any pain at all, whereas if you did it, even your hands would be burning like crazy? Well, it works like that - the more you use it, the less you feel pain in that area.)

So anyways, I put it on, dropped the boys off at Meema's house (that's my mom) =)  and then we went out on a terribly much needed date (all by ourselves - it was AMAZING!). When we got home at 9, Owen and I were fast asleep in the car, so Daddy had to get us both up. I fell asleep crawling up the stairs (we seriously need an elevator or chairlift or something because this is just getting ridiculous!) and then when Ty found me he helped me to get into bed. So in bed, I turn on my heating pad, put it on my lower back near my hips, fall fast asleep again, and 30 minutes later wake up with one of the worst pain sensations of my entire life. I felt like my back and hips were literally on fire!!! It was awful. My skin felt like the top layers of flesh were melting off - ughh, it was so bad. Ty rushed downstairs to grab an ice pack, and then again to grab another because having just one didn't quite do the job, and I just lay there panicking in too much pain to even pray or think.

So, the moral of the story? READ the box, and then LISTEN to the directions. I knew it said not to apply heat after using the product, but I thought it meant right after, and was so tired it honestly didn't even occur to me that I had used it earlier. But now I'm thinking that they meant what they said, and I'm a bit worried as to how long you have to wait before using a heating pad again after applying that stuff. I seriously don't want that happening again! Oh well, that was one lesson well learned, that's for sure!!! Ouch. =/


  1. Has anyone ever checked you for an auto immune disease? I was diagnosed a few years ago with Ankylosing Spondylitis. My story sounds a lot like yours. It is pure torture. So hard to be stuck inside a body that just won't cooperate, esp. When you have little ones to care for. Hang in there!

    Your painting reminds me of fall leaves dancing their way to the ground. :O)

    1. Yes, I've been tested for just about every one there is, though we may have missed one, but they all came back clean. It's actually pretty frustrating because a lot of people still think that Fibromyalgia isn't a real thing, that it's all made up in one's head, but oh man, what I wouldn't give to be free of this pain and exhaustion. It's pure torture watching your kids grow up without you by their sides, and having to have other people do all the work. It's so sad and difficult for me to have to rely so heavily on others. No fun.

      So you have Ankylosing Spondylitis? I can honestly say I've never heard of that. I am going to have to look this up for sure! I'm so sorry though that you are dealing with all of the same symptoms - that's awful! I hope you are starting to get better by now, and that things haven't gotten worse over time.

      Thank you, by the way, for your sweet compliment on my painting - I love that analogy of it! I truly hope you have a good day, Debbie, and that you are able to hang in there too!


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