"Dragon's Eye"

I can't believe it's been years since posting my last post... What a trip! I feel like things were just starting to click and then bam - I got horribly sick. Things eventually calmed down and it felt like things were beginning to click again but then bam - COVID-19 hit.... And now? Now things are starting to rebuild again - I sure hope that this time it lasts!!!

So I realized I never showed the finished version of my Dragon Eye, so I figured it would be best to start with that! Here it is, in full-color glory, my little version of a dragon's eye, done in Prismacolor Colored Pencils. Someday I'll get brave and design a whole dragon, but until then, this will have to do! 

I hope you guys are staying safe out there! God bless!!! 🥰😘

"Tawny Owl"

My "Tawny Owl" Drawing from college. Graphite on paper.

"My Dragon Eye" - Colored Pencil on Paper

This is a new WIP done in Colored Pencils, based on a beautiful painting made by Christopher Drochen called "The Jade Spring" which is the close up of a leopard's eye which is simply stunning. I wanted to practice technique by copying another artist, yet changing it as well just for fun, so mine will be a dragon's eye in the end, rather than a leopard. 

My boys and I have been watching the Netflix series "Dragon's Race to the Edge," which is everything that happened between "How to Train Your Dragon" 1 & 2, so I have dragons on the brain like crazy! I'm just stuck on what color to make it, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Oh, and here's Drochon's gorgeous painting (or rather part of it - it's a little bigger but the image is in my book, and I don't want to ruin how beautiful it is by showing the crease...):

It's so pretty, and as you can see I changed it a bit, but definitely have to give him the credit! He's an excellent Painter!!!

"Feeling A Bit Unraveled" - A Colored Pencil Painting of A Peeled Orange in High Contrast

"Feeling a Bit Unraveled"     2.5" x 3.5" (ACEO)     Prismacolors and White Gel Pen on Acrylic Paper

So I absolutely LOVE works of art that are done in high contrast, so when Lela Stankovic posted the reference photo for this piece on her blog site, "Paint And Draw Together," I just about went giddy with excitement! It reminds me of the works done by the old Masters - well, her photograph does anyways... I tried as hard as I could to do it justice, and found that working on such a minitiature scale required a different way of getting in my bright white highlights, and oh did I stumble upon the best tool ever! I never would have thought to use this over colored pencils because I just wouldn't think it would actually draw on top of them, especially with how wonderfully waxy Prismacolors are, but earlier this week I had done a Tangle on a Black Tile with a White Gel Pen and I thought, hey, why not try it out? And it worked out so perfectly for what I was hoping for that I just wanted to dance a little happy dance right then and there, even if it was the middle of the night (added bonus - everyone was asleep so no one would see me making a fool of myself - smart, right?!). =0) Before the whites were so dingy and dull, and now they sparkle with a brightness that's just how I pictured them. I love it when things work out that way!

Oh how I hope you are having a wonderful day today. I'm nursing my sore gums - I had an oral surgery last week to remove a molar that was so extremely painful - it had an abscess in it for over a month and yet our dentist, who's no longer our dentist, kept dragging his feet to even see me for it. The new dentist we have now is so incredible - their surgeons are so kind - and even though it took a long time in coming, I'm glad I waited because I got better care in the end. Turns out my roots are so long they actually go into my sinuses (crazy, right? Only me, only me... I seem to be the "it only happens to the 1 in 1 million" person - though I imagine this is more common than that) that they had to do a bone and membrane graft as well, which is so weird. I feel like I'm starting to become a little Mrs. Frankenstein - made up of more of other people's parts than my own... Lol! Oh man, you just have to laugh at this stuff, it's so ridiculous! =D Well, I'm gonna go paint and try to not eat all the ice-cream in the house - it just feels so good on my gums right now - so I bid you farewell. I'm almost done taking the last pics of that painting "Hospitali-tea" with the Mice and Chipmunk having tea under the Mushroom so I'll be posting that soon, so keep your eyes open for that! Alright, bye now! =)

"Teal Owl" Coloring Book Page

Lately I have been absolutely enamored with all the beautiful Stress Reducing Adult Coloring Books that they have been making these days. I have the feeling 2016 will be remembered as the year of the Adult Coloring book they have become so popular! I honestly want to design my own some day soon - how fun would that be? But for now, there is so much joy and peace I find in relaxing and sitting down to color, and the greatest gift they've given back to me, an unexpected gift from God, is that my boys come join me. They got so excited about them that they ended up wanting their own, and so we found some really cute Star Wars ones at Costco for them. So now I have the joy of pulling out my Prismacolors and having my little loves surround me, and of course they want to use mommy's pencils, because let's face it, Prismacolors are just the best! So we all color together, and it's like a little taste of Heaven here on earth. Praise the Lord - little things like this make me feel so blessed!

Teal Owl from "Midnight Garden Coloring Book"

I chose this particular color palette because frankly, I absolutely just love these colors. Teal, coral, just about every shade of blue, lime green, mint green, deep forest green and a touch of purple and hot pink - ooh, they just tickle my senses and make me smile deep down inside myself! I wish I had added a few more blueish and purpleish  flowers up top, but all in all I like how it turned out for my first page. I have to admit, I was actually nervous about messing it up, but the farther in I got the more I let loose and just enjoyed myself, and that's when I started seeing how it really does help relieve stress. So if you're in debate about whether or not to buy one of these books, I say go for it (and they are way cheaper on Amazon than at Barnes and Nobles - with a huge selection as well). Well, I hope you're having a great time out there my friends, and let me know if you're a fellow colorer too and if so, what book is your favorite - I always love hearing back from you! =0)

"Hospitali-tea" - A Sneak Peak at a Commissioned Painting Series based on a Children's Farmhouse Theme

Flower and Butterfly Detail from "Hosptitali-tea"     16" x 20"     Acrylic on Linen

 

Oh what joy I've found in doing this project that was commissioned by my church's Antioch campus for their youth department. It's something I get to do alongside one of my best friends, which makes it all the more exciting to do, and the theme is "Welcome to the Farm," which as you can imagine is right up my alley!

I'm having a blast with the imaginative process of this commission - and the fact that in the end there will be such a large number of works to add to my portfolio is a massive plus! At first all I felt was overwhelmed by the idea of jumping into something like this, but I knew God wanted me doing it, despite how hard it could and would end up being, both related to time and physical effort. But somewhere along the line, He showed me the true blessing of it all- that all the artwork I'd done in my whole life had built up to this moment where I could give back to something far greater than myself - where I could give back to my church and more importantly serve my Creator. He showed me the story of Behaliel and Oholiab, two master craftsmen who were gifted in many different trades in the arts, so that they would one day be able to build the temple, God's resting place, and make it a place of sheer beauty befitting the greatest King ever! I don't know if you know the pure, unadulterated joy of creating with the very one who created you, but it's beyond spectacular, trust me on this!!!

I've prayed so often that God would allow me to become gifted like those special men in that way, that I might be able to serve Him with it, and I have seen such growth in the moments when He takes the wheel and steers for me. It's like you get lost in this creative zone, and if someone were to ask you how to do it again, honestly, I'm not sure I could, because it was so thoughtless, so "in the moment" - almost like I'm floating on air and I'm not even in control at all, but that God IS, that I'd be hard pressed to recreate the exact same thing again. I think that's partly why I never did well doing my work in school settings - I could never ever get totally lost in it, and that's when I do my best. Same thing around certain people - I have to be insanely comfortable with you to be able to paint - otherwise I fidget and get nothing done, it's the oddest thing. I wonder, do any of you out there struggle with this in your own art, from photography to graphic design, it doesn't matter what it is, but do you ever feel this way too? I'd love to hear from you!

I've still got a long way to go before I'm finished with this project, and this here painting is only a few brush strokes itself away from being done, (these little butterfly pictures are just a little sneak peak at it) but I have a feeling I've found my calling for sure! It's definitely children's books and illustrations for me that lie in my future - now I just have to figure out how to get discovered! Hhhhmmmm.... That could be interesting...

Well, I really hope you have a wonderful night (or day for my far away friends) and if you ever hear of someone needing an artist for their new children's or fantasy book, maybe you could send them my way... Hey, a girl can hope, right?

Butterfly Detail on "Hospitali-tea"     16" x 20"       Acrylic on Linen

The Mysterious "Pastel Mountaintops"

"Pastel Mountaintops"     3" x 5"     Pastel on Paper

This "pastel painting" as it were (I never quite know what to call them - they end up feeling more like paintings in the end than a drawing, so I'll go with that) is one of a few I did what felt like only a year ago, but apparently I've been slacking on posting up my work even longer than I thought! Anyways, I remember creating this piece, and being quite happy with the color palette and how the colors tended to harmonize with each other, but for the life of me, I have no idea where on earth I took my inspiration from. I'm not sure where these mountains are from. It's possible these mountains may actually live somewhere quite far away in fact, on the way to Montana or the like, and either been painted on that drive or done at home (or at a hotel or destination while on vacation after being captured by phone). Or perhaps they are from one of what feels like my MILLIONS of Doctors appointments I've been through over the last few years - seriously, I literally would have 4 or 5 a day 3-4 days a week for months on end - no joke - it was so bad!!! If so, then the mountains would be our very own little beauty called Mount Diablo, one I never get sick of seeing, even if it gets harder and harder to with all the development going on around here.

I remember when I was little we could see it from our house in Brentwood, a clear, gorgeous shot with orchards in the foreground and from spring to fall we would go up there and jump ginormous rocks or try to catch the ridiculous amounts of blue-bellied lizards and tarantulas that lived there. It was such fun! I haven't been there for ages though, and sadly the best view left of it that's accessible for most people is from Kaiser - gee, isn't that ironic? Maybe I just don't get OUT out enough... Still, it's always a treat to see snow on it, that's for sure, even now as an adult! I suppose I'm just going to be left wondering whether or not this is that. Especially since I've no idea where the original picture is or if there was no picture at all in the first place and I just drew it while my lover boy drove me around (love ya Ty!) - which is quite possible... Oh well, sometimes having that bit of wonder is actually more fun than knowing for sure, and either way, the best part for me is making the artwork and having something to look back on, so I guess it's a win-win!

"To Be Set Free" - A Colored Pencil Drawing And A Work In Progress

"To Be Set Free"     Colored Pencil on Paper     11" x 20"

"To Be Set Free"     Detail of her face

So here's the next installment of "To Be Set Free." I still need to go back and add some fly away hairs in the front like I did in the background, and the Bokeh (the circles of light and darkness) needs some serious blending, but other than that, I think all she needs next is her wings. I'm not sure if I'm dreading that or looking forward to it, to be quite honest... But I do know it's going to be a challenge to get those textures just right, especially getting them to look further back behind her without blurring them out or making them appear too detailed. This could be interesting...

"To Be Set Free" - A WIP (Work in Progress) in Colored Pencil Over Graphite

This originally was a graphite drawing I started in college, but I saw my friends black and white colored pencil drawing and immediately fell in love with the way it made everything look like a photo, and so I set to work right away on re-drawing it right over the original with colored pencils. Right here it's in both phases, so you can see the hair is graphite, as well as from her shoulder and collar bone and down, and the rest is colored pencil, just of white and black, though I'm adding grey in later as well. It's got a long way to go before it's even close to being finished. Definitely a Work in Progress at this point. By the way, the blackish brown lines around the outside are just my couch. Not part of the picture. Just really wanted to get this posted because I miss blogging sooo much!

God has been working on my heart in ways that you wouldn't even be able to believe or imagine. He's brought some absolutely amazing women of faith my way that have been such needed encouragers of the faith and speakers of God's truth through LOVE  that they have taken this wretched woman in me who has been engulfed in bitterness and anger over losing soooo much in my life - nearly everything I hold dear - and I mean it - when my illnesses hit, it was like our lives stopped dead in their tracks - both Tyler and I are still reeling from the suddenness and severity of how intensely we lost nearly everything we held dear to this absolutely mind boggling constant and excruciating pain. I know I've said it before, but my pain is literally so insanely bad that nearly every specialist I've seen - like my Dr. at the pain clinic, my rheumatologist AND Sleep Study Therapists have ALL said is off the charts it's so bad - that I have pain so severe they've never seen anyone with it worse than me for what I have, and that it literally doesn't get any worse than what I have. And to add insult to injury, the sorrow on their faces as they empathize with us over our age and the fact that we have two little babes at home is just heartbreaking. They all tell us how sorry they are for us - it's been crazy to finally be validated, and yet heartbreaking in it's own right because not only am I the worst they've ever seen, but usually you start out really bad and get better each year but for me it's not been the case. It's gotten worse and worse each and every year - it's just crazy town. But God gave me this burden to bear, and I am convinced wholehearted that He is going to do AMAZING things out of it!!!

Detail of her mouth, chin and some fly away hairs - still working on it - needs it's highlights for sure on those lips and a lot more blending to make it smooth. Loving to work on this again. God is sooo good!

And what's even better is that God is now speaking hope into my life again. Showing me that joy and praise, not bitterness and anger, are the way to a happy, positive and God-filled life, even if it's a life lived on the sofa just about 24/7. And yes, that means it's my lonely little bed if you're wondering... Anyways, God is teaching me that to let go of all the pain of the past AND present, of all the hurt I have over abandonment by friends, or loneliness, or any other host of issues. But to hold on to the pain is to give Satan a foothold over my life, and I just WILL NOT HAVE THAT ANYMORE!!! I RENOUNCE HIM FROM MY LIFE, AND I CHOSE THE LIFE OF REPENTANCE FOR ALL MY OWN SINS, FOR THE UNFORGIVENESS IN MY OWN HEART, THE BITTERNESS, THE ANGER, THE DARK PLACES I GO TO WHEN I FEEL SO MUCH PAIN THAT I JUST WANT TO BE REUNITED WITH MY KING! I CHOOSE JESUS, AND FORGIVENESS, AND LOVE, JOY, AND HAPPINESS. To try to be a peacekeeper instead of stirring up drama, to try to love others and realize that when they sin or hurt me they do it out of their own brokenness, and I'm no different. I want to be FREE and POSITIVE and full of HOPE again, SO THAT I CAN SERVE God in MIGHTY, MIGHTY WAYS,  AND BRING HIM AS MUCH GLORY AS I CAN - TO BE A CONQUERER FOR HIM, because I LOVE Him sooo, soooo very much.

What I found very odd about all this, is that when I started making these choices in my life and asking for forgiveness, forgiving others, uprooting these ugly roots of bitterness that so deeply entangle me, well, I started getting passionate about my art again. And I mean VERY passionate about it. I've been drawing again, with a Godsend of a friend who met because I saw one of her gorgeous drawings and immediately had to introduce myself, we immediately hit it off right away, and now she comes over just about every week to draw together. And now I have the blessing of being able to try to paint again as well because of another one of my Godsend friends who was sooo sweet that she sat down in Hobby Lobby for like who knows how long and literally sat with EVERY lap easel in her lap to find the lightest one for me for my birthday knowing that I can't paint because of my pain, and so she knew that if the easel was light enough, I could do so (isn't that such great love?) that I might be able to paint again - I am soooo truly blessed!!!

In fact, we're hoping to start up a little group of artists who can come and pray and read the bible and do art together we're sooo inspired by all this. God is soooo good!!! And what I've noticed so fully and truly is that in order to truly get rid of all the filth inside - the anger and bitterness and unforgiveness - is to fully fill our minds with praise and all that is pure and lovely. As the Bible says:

 Philippians 4:1-9

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

² I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. ³ Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Final Exhortations

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

So basically, I've learned that I have to get my heart right by forgiving those who hurt me, by becoming a peacekeeper rather than someone who tries to constantly fight or be "the one who's always right all the time" and by giving up this spirit of arrogance and rebellion that I've had for FAR too long - something that at times I'd confuse with confidence and pride and get all mixed up until I was all twisted up inside. But by coming to God DAILY first with a heart of praise, thanking Him for all that IS good in my life, praising Him for His Glorious creation - one that is soooo breatakingly beautiful and that I have the privelage to try to re-create WITH Him as I do my art and spend time with Him in worship. There is almost nothing more that I love to do than to sit alone with God and paint with Him by my side, or draw with Him out in nature, marveling at all the glorious beauty that he has created! My, what a Majestic and Artist and Gifted God do we serve!!! <3 The more you sing praises to Our King, the more that peace and tranquility creeps into your heart and soul, as the light, the GLORIOUS LIGHT pushes out the darkness because where there is LIGHT no darkness can reign. Halleluiah! I am so on FIRE for our King, let that fire NEVER falter, let it never grow dim or burn out, but Lord, let it grow and grow until it is all that people see when they see me - You and Your light in me. AMEN to that, right?!

Owen's 3rd Birthday - Happy Birthday Mr. Giggles!!!

"My Sweet Little Owie"

I can't believe my sweet little baby is already 3 today! Through all the prayers for him from the moment we prayed about even considering having another child considering how difficult and potentially deadly the first one, had been for me, and Levi as well, though he was quite the trooper I'll tell ya! But oh man, when we finally did feel God's blessings on trying, and the month before we were going to start trying Tyler sneezed on me or something and I got pregnant, it was a rollercoaster ride from then on, and we still are stuck on it - seems the workers all left and we're stuck in some kind of dreamy/nightmare ride that twists and turns and just never ends.

Praise the Lord God Almighty though that he gave us such a blessing in this little bundle of joy who has lived up to his middle name, my prayer for him, prayed out of fear and hope that someday I would hear his laugh, for his middle name literally means "he laughs," and as you can see above, he laughs so much that he even laughs during mommy's incessant photo shoots - and it's one of the cutest, richest, purest belly laughs I have ever heard in my entire life!!!

So sweet little Owen, on your birthday, I just want you to know that you are such a sweet and wonderful blessing from God in our home!

"Mr. Giggles"

Dear Owen on Your 3rd Birthday:

You have the gift of encouragement, you always know how to give the most amazing cuddles, and I pray so much that God has chosen you to be saved as soon as possible. You love meat, cars, planes, and are an all American boy at heart, and have finally learned the art of swallowing your bites of apple instead of just chewing them and spitting them out all around the floor for mommy to step on (thank you baby! Haha!). You absolutely LOVE Dumbo, Little Bear (which you call "The Owl Movie" for some odd reason just because an owl is in it), and just like Mommy, you LOVE Owls. =D You look up to your brother like he's the bee's knees. And when I said you liked cars and planes, perhaps that was an understatement. You spend most of your day either sitting at the train table, sitting at the couch, or lying flat on your tummy lining up your cars one by one very methodically. It's quite adorable, I must say! You are such a blessing to us in so many ways, and a miracle in your own right as well!

I'm so thankful that your Dr. was able to save your life during delivery - that she was able to force her fingers under the cord that was so tightly wrapped around your neck even before you were outside in the real world. I remember each time that I wasn't able to push hard enough, and everyone's faces would turn a ghastly shade of greenish grey, as they all shouted at me to push harder than I had ever pushed before. You would crown, she'd get her fingers between the cord and you so you could take a breath, and then you'd slip back inside, unable to breathe, me exhausted beyond belief, thinking you were dead, since for the last 15 minutes no one would tell me if you were alive and the staff in the room had gone from 1 Doctor and 2 Nurses to 2 or 3 Doctors, a NICU Doctor, and about 8 other Nurses or RN's. I was terrified, heartbroken, overwhelmed with feelings I can't even begin to explain. But eventually, with a cut, a vacuum, and the Lord guiding every step, every movement, every breath and heartbeat that day, out you came, the most beautiful little boy, crying and blue, with a terrible APGAR score. Oh, but when I got to hold you for a only moment before my Dr. friend from the NICU who had taken care of Levi only 2 years before, assessed you and said you were good to go, I had already fallen deeply in love, smitten at the very first glance. Whoever says love at first sight isn't possible, clearly has never had the joy of parenthood. OH, GLORY TO GOD ON THE HIGHEST!!! I know how blessed I am - for I know that others don't always have that same blessing, and the fact that God fulfilled that prayer that I would hear your laughter one day is something I don't hold lightly. I treasure that in my heart greatly, just like I treasure you Owen. You are my sweet little Owie boy, and I love you more than life!!!

My greatest hope for you is that you live your life with great passion for God, that in all ways you would seek his will, and fear Him and love Him with all your heart. May you have great wisdom to do the things that God asks of you, and do them well, and live your life loving others with great compassion, seeing them through God's eyes and not your own. Selah! I love you my little Owie. I love you so very, very much, and I am so excited to continue to paint and draw (which, by the way, you have an amazing, and I mean AMAZING gift!) and giggle and cuddle and worship with you for the rest of our lives!

With the greatest of love,
Momma

"The Wire Zombie" - An Update on Me and My Health - AGAIN... Lol! =0)

Haha, oh man, I know I keep saying I'm going to try to start painting or drawing more consistently, but I this year has just been absolutely brutal for me. I recently had some HUGE updates on my health, so if you missed any of them, here they are: I found out that as far as people with Fibromyalgia go, not pain scale, but seriousness scale, I'm as bad as it ever can get. I also found out the same goes for my Myofascial Pain, and that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that is out of this world to boot. But, on a weirdly positive note, if you can see it this way, as I'm choosing to do, I found out something today that might change everything, and that explains so very, very much as far as all of my health is concerned!!!

We did a miserable sleep study a week and a half ago - miserable for me in that they woke me up at 6am (I DO NOT DO 6AM!) and then had me sleep for 2 hours and then stay awake for 2 hours back and forth. Problem was, they couldn't even try to keep me awake - and it was as if they had never seen anyone like that before. The nurse would come in and tell me to find an activity I could do that would keep me awake for the full 2 hours, but my problem was, that's exactly WHY I was there. There is nothing I can do that CAN keep me awake. She was so perplexed, like I was some oddity, and I couldn't figure it out.

...That is, until the specialist called today. She immediately said the words I've come so accustomed to hearing, "Your test restults were absolutely astounding in a number of ways!" (Gee, aren't I the "if it can happen it will happen to you" girl? Haha!) Anyways, she went on to tell me that I have quite the intense case of obstructive sleep apnea - so much so that they weren't even able to test me for Narcolepsy because of it. Apparently it's severe enough that I'm waking up EVERY 3 MINUTES ALL NIGHT LONG!!! That's absolutely INSANE!

So if you can, I would love for some prayer, because the next few months could get a little interesting. I have to go back for at least one other sleep study to be fitted for a CPAP machine to wear at night. It's the same breathing machine poor little Levi had to wear when he was born prematurely, because his lungs weren't developed all the way. So I'm a little scared due to PTSD, to be honest, and could use prayer to calm the anxiety, and yet at the same time I'm also sooo very thankful that God is faithfully providing sooo many answers for us right now. So now we know why I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome so badly, and potentially may be able to help fix some of my pain issues if we can get me even an ounce of Restorative Sleep.

So if you will, will you pray with me, and praise God for the answers, the validation, the new avenues to follow, and for the peace and trust in Him to give it all up to Him to handle, without anxiety or worries of my own? Thank you all so much - you have no idea how much you all mean to me - I thank God for you and your powerful prayers that have helped keep this family together each and every day! Thank you and God bless!!! =D

Oh, and just so you can get a good laugh, here you go. A chilling glimpse at the scarcely seen "Wire Zombie", and her better side, seen only on good days. Hope you get a good laugh out of this, because I'm sure this is going to bite me in the bootie sometime in the future:

I felt so terribly miserable that night, can you tell. But then again, that's how I feel just about most of the time... =P

A much happier version of me and my super hot hunk of a husband. Oh man, he's crazy gorgeous, right!?!

"Walking Among the Dandelion Wisps," "J & J's Wedding Tree," and an Update on my Health and Life

ATTENTION: DUE TO MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES I'VE BEEN GONE FOR QUITE SOME TIME, AND I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT LETTING YOU KNOW SOONER.  I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THE ONLY REASON I DIDN'T POST THIS SOONER WAS LITERALLY OUT OF SHEER PAIN, WEAKNESS, AND EXHAUSTION. I SOOO WANT TO TRY TO GET BACK INTO THE DISCIPLINE OF PAINTING AND CREATING DAILY, THOUGH I DOUBT I'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT EVERY DAY, BUT PERHAPS WITH SOME LUCK AND AN INSANE AMOUNT OF DISCIPLINE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET BACK TO POSTING MORE REGULARLY, DESPITE MY SILLY PAIN.

"Walking Among the Dandelion Wisps"     3.5" x 5"     Oil Pastel on Paper

Hi there, if there is anyone out there who still might possibly follow my blog anymore or check it from time to time. I am so sorry for my straight up abandonment of my little artistic oasis here - I can't even begin to tell you how horribly sick I've been this year, nor do I want to bore you with all my complaining. So if you're interested in reading an update on what's going on with my health - a TON has changed unfortunately - then read on through to the bottom of the post. If not, I'm just going to post my paintings up top for those more interested in the art and not so much an expose on my health.

I've gone through such feelings of loss, and then feelings of guilt because I think of those people out there who have things worse off than I do. But I still can't shake that feeling. I'm not really making art anymore - it takes so much effort to do so - it just hurts way too much most of the time, though I have had some blissful moments to create. Plus, when I feel even a tiny bit good, I want to try to love on my kids and family, because I miss them sooo! But like I said, I have had some chances to create, and so here are some of the things I did this year, but up until now I just didn't quite feel up to posting them by the time I was done.

PROJECT #1

"Walking Among the Dandelion Wisps" in my Awesome Mini Art Journal - I LOVE that thing!!!

So I'm not quite finished with this one yet - and honestly, it really was just supposed to be a simple sketch to see if I wanted to make a painting of it and OH YES, I DO!!! There's something about the combination of the colors that is soothing and riveting for me - I'm not at all trying to toot my own horn, trust me - I've been feeling like a terrible artist lately, but for some reason this piece really speaks to me, even though I made it. I always feel a little guilty when I'm proud of my own work - any other artists out there struggle with that? 

By the way, this idea for this pastel painting was taken from one of my sister's beautiful picture's that she had taken while up in the mountains. So thank you sis for letting me use that!!!  

PROJECT #2

This is a Wedding Tree, done in collaboration with the mother of the groom, Paula, and the groom himself, Jeremy, who wanted a very specific layout being an artist himself as well. The space that was left blank on the left side was done so on purpose so that they could put the bride and groom's thumbprints there standing up together, in paint, and make them into little love birds, adding a veil and sparkling diamond to the bride and a hat and bow-tie to the groom. Isn't that sweet?

"J & J's Cherry Blossom Wedding Tree"     11" x 14"     Acrylic on Belgium Linen Hardboard (which was like absolutely 

to work with!)

I'm not sure if you can see it anywhere on the tree above, but I hide my signature leaf insignia and a heart in the branches as well. Also, there's a few Dandelions (can you find them all?), a Snail, and Two Mushrooms. I added the Dandelion with floating wisps to signify the dreams they have that they are sharing with each other as they start this new journey together. The two Mushrooms, one big, one small, was to represent the groom shielding her from the storms that will rage ahead, as he is her protector now, and you can see the little one moving in, seeking that protection, cuddling close to her love. As for the Snail, well, he's just kinda gonna be my trademark. I think you'll be seeing him and little Inch-Worm a lot more often in my paintings from here on out... =0)

Detail with Branches

I'm not sure why the photo above is so pink - I kept trying to change the color balance and hue on it but it just wouldn't give, so you'll just have to imagine it like the picture below. The background was completely white with a little bit of texture so that there would be texture in the people's thumbprints as they were using paint.

Close-Up Detail of the Bottom of the Tree

FOR THOSE INTERESTED IN AN UPDATE ON MY HEALTH:

This last year has been quite a doozy, let me tell ya!

So over this year my symptoms have been widening and my pain has been worsening and unrelenting, meaning I haven't had a break this entire year for more than 5-6 days tops, whereas last year I would get my pain down to a tolerable level (say in the 3-5 range or the 5-7 range) for weeks and months, but this year it's been a steady 8-10, and if I'm lucky I get the 6-7 range instead for a bit. But that's not all - my Myofascial Pain, Fibro, and other disorders have made a new and very perplexing friend.

At first I swore it was MS (Multiple Sclerosis), because I would wake up completely paralyzed for hours, unable to speak beyond the tiniest whisper. Then I started having spells where I would fall asleep or pass out in the middle of doing things - whether talking to someone, walking across the room, instantly after sitting down - it was terrifying! Even this week I walked into the middle of the room, stopped and just stood there. I heard Ty talking to me and saw the room but he said my head was down and my eyes were shut - I fell asleep standing in the middle of the room at 8pm - and I'm a night owl!!! It was kinda creepy! He guided me to the couch, laid me down and I woke up the next morning - so weird!!! Anyways, so we got the testing done, saw a Neurologist, did multiple sleep studies and MRI's (in fact, I still have one more sleep study coming up - the 24 hour one inside a monitored room - that's gonna be interesting!) and I was happy to find out that at least I don't have MS!

And of course, as all things go, the Neurologist asked if during the sleep spells I had ever fallen - I had said, "Nope, not yet." Then, of course, as Murphy's Law would have it, the next night after seeing him I had my first fall and it would have been even worse if we hadn't already been scheduled for acupuncture the following morning (Praise the LORD for that!!!). I hit my shoulder blade hard againt the tub, as well as my hip and my head, screamed in agony, then screamed repeatedly for Ty who was asleep in the attached room, but couldn't wake him in the end and ended up passing out again from the sheer pain of it all. I woke up about 5 hours later in screaming pain as the sun was peaking it's sleepy head over the horizon. From then on I've fallen quite a few more times (it's quite terrifying) - and even though Ty is super quick to spot me when I look like I'm going to pass out now, we still miss a few and I white out and end up passed out in strange places. As you can see, it's been straight-up crazy over here!

So this year's been quite a drastic and scary shift from last year for me and my family, and frankly I'm having a hard time trying not to be terrified about this coming fall and winter since they are always sooo much harder than the rest of the year, but I know deep down in my heart that I should just have faith in Jesus and know that He is in control no matter what, because it's true. However, sometimes those truths, though comforting at times and at other times the pure air that you breathe, well, sometimes they can also feel so foreign and underwhelming - even though you want them to give you comfort and rest and ease, for some odd reason, it can feel like reading a book where all the words are out of order and nothing makes sense. These last 4 years have most definitely challenged my faith - but I am grateful to say that I will ALWAYS hold fast to my creator, my counselor, my almighty King, my Joy, my Life, and my Lord, JESUS CHRIST. Without Him, there is no way on earth I would be here this day with all of you. But I would love some prayer that I would be passionate in my walk with Him each day, and that I would fully trust in this Word:

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, 

I am he who will sustain you.

 I have made you and I will carry you;

 I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Isaiah 46:4

It's hard to believe at times that God will sustain me and carry me and rescue me when honestly for most of my life I've felt abandoned. It's one thing to say that you believe and you trust and it's a whole different thing to live in pain every single day (pschological, emotional, physical) and try to believe that the upcoming hard months are going to be easier, and then despite that TO CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT because you KNOW GOD IS LOVE. For I know that God is pushing me to learn to truly trust in Him with all my heart, pushing me to grow, to change, to become more like him, to polish off all the rough edges (boy are there a lot of those!). But I need to trust Him to sustain me, carry me, and most of all RESCUE ME with ALL OF MY HEART. May God's will be done and not my own.

I pray God blesses you today/tonight - that he carries you when you are weary, that he sustains you when you feel broken and when you feel like you can't possibly go on , that He would provide for you in your times of need in amazing and miraculous ways, and that if YOU need to be rescued, that HE WOULD RESCUE YOU! All you have to do is ask. The Lord says, "Come near to [Me]* and [I]* will come near to you." James 4:8a NIV  (*Me was substituted for God and *I was substituted for He in the brackets within the verse). That's seriously one of my favorite verses of all time. And there's so much weight to it. No matter what you've done, or how far away you feel from God, all you have to do is draw closer to Him, pray, get out your Bible, dust it off and flip open the cover and read - perhaps the Psalms, or Matthew or Philippians, and start a conversation with God. That verse has helped me soooo many times when I felt my soul running dry. I pray it helps you too. So I hope your day/night is going well and I truly hope to see you more often now. Man, I sure miss this place (if you can't tell be the ridiculously long posts - don't worry - the posts will be WAAAYYY shorter here on out! And I most of all I miss all my internet friends and buddies!!! May God bless you and keep you. HAPPY CREATING EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

"The Pear-fect Pair" - A Still Life Painting of Pears

"The Pear-fect Pair"     4" x 5"     Acrylic on Canvas with Paint Wrapped Edges

 $50 - Email Me To Purchase This "Pear-fect" Painting! =0)

I'm sooo energized this week by the upcoming show on Saturday!!! I wish I had been feeling better for weeks beforehand - oh how I could have had an awesome amount of stock to sell! But it is what it is and I'm trying to do the best I can with what I got - and so here is one more painting that I did just this week in hopes of selling it at the show. =0) I hope you like it - I'm really diggin' painting pears - they're quite a fun subject to paint! I hope you're having a great day and if you end up wanting to buy this pretty little painting today and snatching it up before the show, that's fine by me - just email me and let me know! =D Have a great day my friends and God bless!

"Owl Only Have Eyes For You" and "Too Cold to Give a Hoot" - Two Miniature Owl Paintings

"Owl Only Have Eyes For You"     2" x 2"     Acrylic on Canvas

 I can't believe I finally got the chance to paint this week!!!  =D I started on Tuesday, on this sweet little painting of an owl up close, on a 2 inch square canvas. I mostly got to paint in little bits and pieces here and there, intertwined with loves, cuddles, and random spurts of playtime with my boys that were full of awesomeness (and of course Nanny "Mommo" was there – which is what the boys lovingly call Miss Bri – or I wouldn't have even had the chance to paint at all, but I have the Big Spring Boutique on Saturday and I thought I better get my little bootie back in shape and knock out a few small paintings or I won't have much to sell at all so Tuesday ended up being a work day for me). But man oh man, it was so totally amazing!  =0) And boy, can I ever tell you it's been WAY, WAY,   WAAAAYYY TOO LONG! I missed it exceedingly more than ever even realized I would, which rather a shock to my system, and I noticed that after spending forever painting a 2" x 2" I'm still not sure if the reason it took so long was because of the sheer amount of detail or because I made quite a few little rookie mistakes and had to go back and fix them. Still, it was so worth it! 

"Too Cold to Give a Hoot"     2" x 2"     Acrylic on Canvas

 Plus, I got to go back and FINALLY finish up this sweet little winter gem, and given all these crazy storms the last few weeks, it just felt fitting, even if we only ever get rain and no snow in our area. But for those of you in colder climates, I'm sure this feels like home to you right now! I guess I just was in a total owl mood. I really DO like other animals, trust me, I do! My other favorites are Octopus, Frogs, Snails, Inch Worms, Sea Cucumbers, Jellyfish, Frogs, and Moose. I could keep going - I kinda just want to add any animal that lives in the Ocean or the Woodlands, but that kinda defeats the purpose of picking "favorites" I suppose. Ohhhh, I dooo so LOVE Sea Dragons, Black and White Spotted Eagle Rays, and Spotted Bamboo Sharks and Spotted Wobbegong Sharks (also known as Carpet Sharks). Those last few one's are pretty cool - you should look them up if you're bored. 

Anyways, if you live in the area and want to come on down to the Boutique and find some AMAZING handmade, handcrafted goods by many of my good friends and local artisans, especially with Mother's Day and Easter right around the corner, come on down. It's on this SATURDAY the 5th from 9am - 5pm on Atherton Boulevard in Brentwood - trust me, you won't miss it - it will be VERY WELL MARKED!!! So come on down, support some local "starving artists" (hahaha, I'm just joking on that part!), but seriously, come on down and you will have an absolute blast! I'll post the link later for the Boutique so you can see some of the other things people are selling, but for now I have to run. Have an awesome day, my friends, and God bless!!!

"Night Owl" - Tangle #4 and a Whole New Series in the Works!!! =0)

"Night Owl" - Tangle #04    2.5" x 3.5"      Graphite, Colored Pencil and Ink on Acrylic Paper (ACEO)

$25 - Email me if Interested

This little Owl stole my heart as soon as he made his appearance. And I knew that I immediately wanted to make a series of woodland creatures in this style, so as of now I am currently working on work #02 in the series, a playful little bear cub, who's trying so hard to climb over a tree that's a mite bit taller than he is. As for this Owl though, he's got a wild side - a little bit of mischeviousness to him that I just adore. It's as if as soon as the sun sets his playful side comes out and little mousies beware!

I hope you are having fun being your own little playful selves as well! And oh how I'm loving this newfound LOVE for pen and ink - I think it rather suits me, especially when color is involved. =0) I'd love to know what you think or what woodland animals you would like to see from me next. And thanks for not giving up on me - you have no idea what that means to this weary soul - it's like the elixir of LOVE and LIFE and JOY all mixed up into one sweet tonic, and I thank you heartily for that. Have a wonderful day, my friends, and stay inspired! You have no idea how much you have helped keep me inspired yourselves!

"Broken Hearted" - Tangle #02

"Broken Hearted"  - Tangle #02     2.75" x 2.75"     Ink and Graphite on Illustration Board

Already I'm starting to get the hang of this Zentangle® thing. On Day #01, I noticed that I made FAR too many teeny, tiny spaces with all my lines, which, had I been working on a larger scale, would have made for an absolutely fantastic and interesting piece. However, when it's the size of a mere ACEO, yeah, not so much... So for Tangle #02 I decided to create larger spaces to work within, to allow myself enough area to really get in there and create some fabulous patterns and you know what? I liked it - A LOT! It was so much more fun this way to create each individual space, as they each really had the chance to be able to get developed instead of just barely getting started before having to move on to a new beat because the lines had already changed. So I guess I already learned something new, and it's only just the beginning... I can't wait to see where this takes me in the future!

Totally Tangled Over Here and Loving It!

"Burnt To A Crisp" - Tangle #01     3.5" x 5"     Ink & Graphite on Acrylic Paper (ACEO)

The last two weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare. Thank God before that He gave me grace sufficient to get me through what was to come! Before these last two weeks I had the most wonderful, love-filled birthday party of my life (YA-HOOO - I'M OFFICIALLY 30 YEARS OLD!!! I'M SO EXCITED!)  =D  where I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people who not only just showed up to shower their affections and care on me, but who took time out of their own hectic schedules to spend time celebrating a very special day with me. My 30th birthday is something I've been happily awaiting for quite some time now, and it meant so much more to me to be able to spend it with so many people who I hold so dear and close to my heart. It was nothing short of miraculous and terribly humbling at the same time, to be quite honest! After having been literally holed up in my own home in what feels like an iron-clad cage for almost 2 years now, save for my hundreds of Drs. visits and an occassional visit to Costco, Target or the $ Store in my wheelchair,  it was actually a bit overwhelming. My senses aren't really quite used to being around so many people in such a small space anymore, which to be totally honest I was NOT expecting such a great turnout, though I was HUGELY BLESSED by it (I mean, come on, how amazing is that? I was so overcome by emotions that I had planned to thank everyone for coming and instead totally retreated inside myself instead out of sheer shock), and I kept getting asked if I was alright, so I'm fairly positive that the emotion showed loud and clear on my face, like a poor little deer caught in the headlights. But the LOVE I felt in our house shook the walls for me, and it was a birthday I will NEVER forget, at least, not until dementia sets in which is hopefully a ways away. Now, now, I am just 30, mind you!  =0)

What's been so interesting to me is that I've been looking forward to turning 30 for so long, and now that I have, apparently NOW'S the time that everything possible that I thought couldn't possibly get any worse has skyrocketed to new dimensions of horrible that I never even fathomed were possible. Family life has been treacherous for everyone over here, apparently because I've changed so much and I'm no longer who I used to be, and we aren't sure if it's the anti-seizure meds or not (which I'm so praying it's not because they are what's giving me the ability to play with my boys and interact with them and without those I'll go back to being in a virtual untouchable coma, my body wracked with pain, my heart wracked with sobs, it's just awful to think of having to go back there. It's like choosing paralysis over time to laugh and play and enjoy your children. Which would you pick?

If I could give my own two cents, personally I just think I'm different because I'M DIFFERENT. You don't go through as many trials and tribulations as I have and come out the other side unscathed unless you're a robot or not being honest with yourself. BUT, and this is a BIIIIIGGG BUT, it doesn't mean I can treat other's like garbage or hurt them just because I'm hurting. Right now I feel like an injured mother bear trying desperately to protect her cubs from being taken away from her by angry and yet proud huntsmen. I want to lash out in my anger, and then pull back and protect my injuries, hovering over my boys trying to protect them from any fallout that might negatively affect them later on in life, and especially anything that might hurt their precious little hearts now.

I'm learning the value of keeping my own anger reigned in - I found this AMAZING workbook on Amazon for helping with anger management, and even though I've only done one chapter I can SEE and FEEL the changes taking place inside me, as if God is gently taking out the badly woven strings and re-knitting them so that He can complete the work He started in me so many years ago, and so He can carry it on to completion until the day of His Son, Jesus Christ, returns to this earth to save us all who've been faithful to Him! I am so thankful every day that I serve a God like Him, one who truly knows the meaning of being and having:

PATIENCE, PEACE, HOPE, LONG-SUFFERING, ENDURANCE, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING, KINDNESS and above all, 

 LOVE!!!

And so you see, with the walls of my life continually crashing in around my shoulders, when I started noticing more and more of my artist friends coming out with these lovely, vibrantly patterned works of art called Zentangle (R), I started to become intrigued. They were simple and yet so complex. I loved how they looked and especially how they feeled and most of all how they MADE me feel. But what finally got me hooked was when the walls collapsed in around us and we were forced to get a nanny (one of THE best decisions we have EVER made!!!). We finally got the boys back at home where they belonged all along - not at anyone else's house, no matter who it was, the best place for my boys is to be with their momma! Especially now that we have a new nanny to help out, (she's the one who got me into Zentangles® without even knowing what it was, quite to her surprise) but she has been a major help to me already. And like I said, as soon as she showed me her own work I just knew I had to give it a shot. After all, it's basically a mix between Henna, doodling, meditation, shading, pattern-working, and whatever else you want to do to make it your own, so it was a dead-ringer for me!!!

I looked it up too, and apparently they've done studies on it and it's been proven to help with anger management, anxiety, stress reduction, creativity, improved memory retention, pain reduction and so much more like even just the simple fact of helping to improve your mood. Gee, I think I could handle that, couldn't you? So not only is this an art form that is done on a miniature scale (ahem... sound like something I might like, right? Lol!), but it's something I can do in a hospital bed or on major bedrest when the real heavy full-bodied or just partial yet temporary paralysis sets in, which is HUGE to me, since it's times like those that I struggle with wanting to do art the most but I can't do anything feasible because it's WAY too involved. So with how small this is coupled with the fact that you also only need to use tiny strokes means I can do this just about anywhere in just about any situation. PRAISE THE LORD!!! I finally found something I can take with me that doesn't take up huge amounts of space and that I can pack on the fly. I'm such a happy camper right now!!!

Unfortunately, with the artistic passion comes the STRONG, rather overbearing and for me quite tormenting emotions, which at times seem like they could just swallow me whole. At least I'm not the only artist to have ever felt this way - I'm pretty sure it's like a right of passage if you want to be a fine artist for some odd reason. It must just be like I said - with great passion comes great torment as well - and either one of them, if left untamed, can swallow you up. My prayer is that God continues to enrich my passions rather than continue my torment, for it surely does get exhausting after a long time,  as many of my overwhelmed friends would agree with. Thank God He's a God who cares! Well, I really should try to at least clean up a little before the boys wake up - and turn up the heater or restart a fire because it's freezing in here today! I hope you have a wonderful vacation day filled with rest and laughter and much joy, and that God blesses you day immeasurably! So long for now!

"Meet Me By the Bridge Tonight" - A Work in Progress and

"Meet Me By the Bridge Tonight"     9" x 12"      Acrylic on Canvas

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much I have missed you all! I've missed writing, blogging, painting, reading up on all of your own blogs and updates and all the other things that we bloggers have to do to maintain any sort of readership (of which I'm sure my own is practically gone by now!) and that any of us bloggers or non-bloggers alike have to do to just keep ourselves entertained if we aren't incredibly overwhelmed with stuff to do. Anyways, I truly do greatly apologize for my absence and hope there aren't any hurt feelings out there - I know I need to send out some prints and paintings and that I am more than just a bit behind in all this -  but unfortunately such is the life of one in my condition, with Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, SRI Joint Problems and more (the list is steadily growing - uh-oh!) - and it's already hard enough to even get out of bed each day let alone try to order and mail out all my free little prizes. But I will get them done one by one, because I'm a girl of my word, even if it may take more time than I had originally hoped for.  But hey, at least they're free, right?! That's gotta help count for something! ;0)

I've been thinking lately about whether or not I can really do this considering my condition, and for now at least I just really want to focus on getting as much caught up as I can on all my projects this year so that I can get myself and this sweet little business of mine off to a good clean start this year with a nice clean slate! I'd love to not "owe" any prizes to anyone anymore, and I hate having that feeling hanging over my head constantly, especially the guilt. So for those of you who are waiting on prints if you don't mind waiting a little longer that would be absolutely wonderful to me - and don't worry - I have in no way forgotten about you! In fact it's quite the opposite, I think of you all the time, and I feel so bad that I haven't been able to get your prints to you sooner. I'm so sorry if I've frustrating anyone with the wait, but things have been just a bit hectic around here if you can imagine it. Please just try to be patient - or rather, I should say please just try to continue to be patient - you already have been spectacularly patient as it is, and I feel awful asking you to wait even longer, but this is my life and I'm getting hit hard with the realities of my weaknesses and my disabilities left and right right now and it's just not pretty. In fact, it downright hurts. But just so you know, I'm trying to add in a little extra something to anyone who's gifts or prizes are late right now just to try to make it up to you - I know it's not much but it's the best I can do at the moment. I just want everyone to be happy and pleased in the end and at the very least when all's said and done the one thing I need to remind myself of is that I truly AM very sick and these really ARE free prizes, so as long as I get them to you as soon as I possibly can we should be good in the end. But the sooner the better, right?!  =D

And once they're all done, I'll hold my FINAL CONTEST, the one that was supposed to be held in December but had to be postponed for personal reasons. Since I didn't do it in the 12 months time that I had aimed for (oh man, I was sooo, sooo close!), I figured I'd like to do it once all the others were accounted for first, so as not to add extra stress so that it could be perhaps a bigger or better prize in the end that way. Who knows - we'll have to see what happens, but I can't wait for the day to come up with and then announce that one!!!

Speaking on the subject of contests and prizes, the painting above is one of the paintings that was a prize a long while back in February - it was back in the beginning before people other than just my friends read my blog, so of course one of my friends won the prize (go figure, right?! Haha!). =D  Anyways, I had sooo hoped to finish it much earlier in the year for them, but was really surprised by the difficulty of certain aspects of it, especially when it came down to laying down the bridge. I hadn't anticipated the architecture of it to get the better of me, or at least not to that degree, but oh how wrong I had been! It literally took me weeks, perhaps even months, for me to realize that I had painted in the base columns incorrectly, putting them in at an angle exactly similar to the shadows that follow alongside them, which was ALL wrong. You see, in real life they would run parallel to the horizon, not diagonal to it, which was a shocker to me for some reason though it makes perfect sense logically speaking once you really think about it.

Already I feel like I've spent so much time on this piece and yet I still have what feels like so far to go on it -  I mean, if you look, you can see I've only just begun to lay in the cherry blossoms, and they're all floating in mid-air as of yet, so pretty soon they'll be getting some branches to hang from but even then they still have more layers they need to make them look full and complete like a true flower in bloom. This painting has definitely been an adventure for me, and a great learning experience as well - now here's to hoping my friends like my interpretation of what they were wanting and that they can see it with eyes wide open as it still has a ways to go before she'll be done. Haha, I guess it's a "she" after all - funny, I didn't realize I thought of my paintings in that way before but I guess I really do!  =0)

I really have been dying to get back to the easel on this one but I haven't quite been able to get back into painting yet - I don't know if it's purely emotional or if it's because my body just doesn't quite feel good enough yet to really get the job done - I mostly need to lay around and do simple exercises during the day and after seeing my Physical Therapist he reassured me that it wasn't just in my head, which did me a world of good! Apparently, my body is so weak that it can't even truly support the weight of my own head coming even a fraction of an inch off of my pillow (that's how truly bad it is), at least, not without causing itself intense and agonizing pain. That explains A LOT!!! It's always nice to know that you aren't imagining things, that's for sure!  =0)  But I'm so happy to be working with him and I hope and know that in time if I follow his advice he'll get me back on track - he's done it before and he can do it again. As for right now though, even just getting this post up on here feels like a such a huge victory - one that I can hardly describe, but it's just absolutely fulfilling to say the least!

Well, I hope you are all doing well and I can't wait to go visit you on your own sites and see what you all have been up to while I've been away. Hopefully there will be more posts on my end and much more frequently too - going that long without a post was sooo not cool and I deeply apologize again, and I mean it. I always hate it when I would follow someone and they would just drop off the grid for months and months at a time, with no explanation ever given. I would check back and they'd put up a single post or maybe two and then off they'd go again, not to be seen for almost a year if at all. That's not what I want for this blog and not what I want you to feel when you come here. So I will try my hardest to work harder for you. It might mean more photography and less painting, or perhaps just more works in progress than paintings completed in a day, especially since we've yet to see any rain and rain is my absolute arch nemesis and my best friend at the same time since we so desperately need it to not go into a drought. I just wish I could find somewhere more permanent that I could stay during the rainy season over here that would be perfect - unfortunately living somewhere outside of the rainy season to stay warm during the storms with my boys is a bit unrealistic - but, oh how awesome that would be! Oh well, I got some really awesome days this winter with all three of my boys that I'll treasure forever, and I'll just have to try harder to be up on here on my blog more often, as much as I can, but in the meantime, I hope and pray you have a wonderful day. Take care and God bless, my friend!

November is NOT over Yet - It's CONTEST TIME!!!

Okay - Here's how it goes! Whomsoever is the very 1st person to post a comment on this blog about either one thing they've been thankful for this year or if they just want to straight up say they want to win the prize get's a free 4"x6" print of "Doe Eyes" matted and ready to be framed to a 5"x7" sized frame (frame not included). So, if you want it, the 1st person to comment HERE ON MY BLOG WINS! There's only one winner so you better respond quickly! Good luck! =0)

Print of "Doe Eyes"     4"x 6" matted to 5"x 7"     Lustre Finish

"Trudging Along" - A Colored Pencil and Conte Pencil Drawing

"Trudging Along"     Colored Pencil and Conte Pencil on Bristol Board

Sorry, I know this isn't the best picture ever, but I'm so incredibly tired and just wanted to get this up here - and in all honesty, it's just a picture off my phone. But If you like this piece and are interested in Purchasing this Original Work of Art, Please feel free to Email Me Via My "About Me" Section on the Right Side Panel. Thanks! And Have a Great Day!

It's been more and more difficult and far more painful than I ever imagined it would be at this point for me to get out my paints and brushes these last few days, or really this entire last month. I keep promising myself that I'll try my hardest to get everything set up so I can work on some projects, but my body just isn't havin' it right now. 

And it's become more than just a little bit frustrating by now - after all it's my best way of blowing off emotional steam,  and since this flare hit last month I've had plenty of steam to fuel a freight car right now. But like I said before, this time I'm choosing to fight this with all I got, and so away go the paints for a small time (I'm still praying and holding out hope that this won't last too long) and out come the drawing tools. 

I've been working with colored pencils, Conte crayons, and oil pastels, not to mention plain old graphite the last few days, and I'm just trying to get in as much practice as possible. I'd actually forgotten how much fun just the practice of drawing and, well, practicing in general, really can be and I'm actually having a blast with this! 

Finally, I'm starting to make some progress here, with God's help. I'm learning how to make the best with what I have, though I have a long road ahead of me before I get that one down. =0)  Rather than just letting myself get depressed with what I can't do right now, I've been praying that God would open my eyes to see the things I CAN do instead, & I have to admit it sure does make a huge impact on your life. Everything seems to be so much happier this way, the days seem brighter and more full of hope, and I feel way less defeated as well . It's way more fun when you can find a way of looking at things as if the glass were half full rather than it always being half empty, or so I seem to be learning this these last few weeks. It's quite a change of pace for me but I'm really enjoying it and I can't wait to see what it leads to! God bless you and have a great day!