"Hospitali-tea" - A Sneak Peak at a Commissioned Painting Series based on a Children's Farmhouse Theme

Flower and Butterfly Detail from "Hosptitali-tea"     16" x 20"     Acrylic on Linen

 

Oh what joy I've found in doing this project that was commissioned by my church's Antioch campus for their youth department. It's something I get to do alongside one of my best friends, which makes it all the more exciting to do, and the theme is "Welcome to the Farm," which as you can imagine is right up my alley!

I'm having a blast with the imaginative process of this commission - and the fact that in the end there will be such a large number of works to add to my portfolio is a massive plus! At first all I felt was overwhelmed by the idea of jumping into something like this, but I knew God wanted me doing it, despite how hard it could and would end up being, both related to time and physical effort. But somewhere along the line, He showed me the true blessing of it all- that all the artwork I'd done in my whole life had built up to this moment where I could give back to something far greater than myself - where I could give back to my church and more importantly serve my Creator. He showed me the story of Behaliel and Oholiab, two master craftsmen who were gifted in many different trades in the arts, so that they would one day be able to build the temple, God's resting place, and make it a place of sheer beauty befitting the greatest King ever! I don't know if you know the pure, unadulterated joy of creating with the very one who created you, but it's beyond spectacular, trust me on this!!!

I've prayed so often that God would allow me to become gifted like those special men in that way, that I might be able to serve Him with it, and I have seen such growth in the moments when He takes the wheel and steers for me. It's like you get lost in this creative zone, and if someone were to ask you how to do it again, honestly, I'm not sure I could, because it was so thoughtless, so "in the moment" - almost like I'm floating on air and I'm not even in control at all, but that God IS, that I'd be hard pressed to recreate the exact same thing again. I think that's partly why I never did well doing my work in school settings - I could never ever get totally lost in it, and that's when I do my best. Same thing around certain people - I have to be insanely comfortable with you to be able to paint - otherwise I fidget and get nothing done, it's the oddest thing. I wonder, do any of you out there struggle with this in your own art, from photography to graphic design, it doesn't matter what it is, but do you ever feel this way too? I'd love to hear from you!

I've still got a long way to go before I'm finished with this project, and this here painting is only a few brush strokes itself away from being done, (these little butterfly pictures are just a little sneak peak at it) but I have a feeling I've found my calling for sure! It's definitely children's books and illustrations for me that lie in my future - now I just have to figure out how to get discovered! Hhhhmmmm.... That could be interesting...

Well, I really hope you have a wonderful night (or day for my far away friends) and if you ever hear of someone needing an artist for their new children's or fantasy book, maybe you could send them my way... Hey, a girl can hope, right?

Butterfly Detail on "Hospitali-tea"     16" x 20"       Acrylic on Linen

"To Be Set Free" - A Colored Pencil Drawing And A Work In Progress

"To Be Set Free"     Colored Pencil on Paper     11" x 20"

"To Be Set Free"     Detail of her face

So here's the next installment of "To Be Set Free." I still need to go back and add some fly away hairs in the front like I did in the background, and the Bokeh (the circles of light and darkness) needs some serious blending, but other than that, I think all she needs next is her wings. I'm not sure if I'm dreading that or looking forward to it, to be quite honest... But I do know it's going to be a challenge to get those textures just right, especially getting them to look further back behind her without blurring them out or making them appear too detailed. This could be interesting...

"To Be Set Free" - A WIP (Work in Progress) in Colored Pencil Over Graphite

This originally was a graphite drawing I started in college, but I saw my friends black and white colored pencil drawing and immediately fell in love with the way it made everything look like a photo, and so I set to work right away on re-drawing it right over the original with colored pencils. Right here it's in both phases, so you can see the hair is graphite, as well as from her shoulder and collar bone and down, and the rest is colored pencil, just of white and black, though I'm adding grey in later as well. It's got a long way to go before it's even close to being finished. Definitely a Work in Progress at this point. By the way, the blackish brown lines around the outside are just my couch. Not part of the picture. Just really wanted to get this posted because I miss blogging sooo much!

God has been working on my heart in ways that you wouldn't even be able to believe or imagine. He's brought some absolutely amazing women of faith my way that have been such needed encouragers of the faith and speakers of God's truth through LOVE  that they have taken this wretched woman in me who has been engulfed in bitterness and anger over losing soooo much in my life - nearly everything I hold dear - and I mean it - when my illnesses hit, it was like our lives stopped dead in their tracks - both Tyler and I are still reeling from the suddenness and severity of how intensely we lost nearly everything we held dear to this absolutely mind boggling constant and excruciating pain. I know I've said it before, but my pain is literally so insanely bad that nearly every specialist I've seen - like my Dr. at the pain clinic, my rheumatologist AND Sleep Study Therapists have ALL said is off the charts it's so bad - that I have pain so severe they've never seen anyone with it worse than me for what I have, and that it literally doesn't get any worse than what I have. And to add insult to injury, the sorrow on their faces as they empathize with us over our age and the fact that we have two little babes at home is just heartbreaking. They all tell us how sorry they are for us - it's been crazy to finally be validated, and yet heartbreaking in it's own right because not only am I the worst they've ever seen, but usually you start out really bad and get better each year but for me it's not been the case. It's gotten worse and worse each and every year - it's just crazy town. But God gave me this burden to bear, and I am convinced wholehearted that He is going to do AMAZING things out of it!!!

Detail of her mouth, chin and some fly away hairs - still working on it - needs it's highlights for sure on those lips and a lot more blending to make it smooth. Loving to work on this again. God is sooo good!

And what's even better is that God is now speaking hope into my life again. Showing me that joy and praise, not bitterness and anger, are the way to a happy, positive and God-filled life, even if it's a life lived on the sofa just about 24/7. And yes, that means it's my lonely little bed if you're wondering... Anyways, God is teaching me that to let go of all the pain of the past AND present, of all the hurt I have over abandonment by friends, or loneliness, or any other host of issues. But to hold on to the pain is to give Satan a foothold over my life, and I just WILL NOT HAVE THAT ANYMORE!!! I RENOUNCE HIM FROM MY LIFE, AND I CHOSE THE LIFE OF REPENTANCE FOR ALL MY OWN SINS, FOR THE UNFORGIVENESS IN MY OWN HEART, THE BITTERNESS, THE ANGER, THE DARK PLACES I GO TO WHEN I FEEL SO MUCH PAIN THAT I JUST WANT TO BE REUNITED WITH MY KING! I CHOOSE JESUS, AND FORGIVENESS, AND LOVE, JOY, AND HAPPINESS. To try to be a peacekeeper instead of stirring up drama, to try to love others and realize that when they sin or hurt me they do it out of their own brokenness, and I'm no different. I want to be FREE and POSITIVE and full of HOPE again, SO THAT I CAN SERVE God in MIGHTY, MIGHTY WAYS,  AND BRING HIM AS MUCH GLORY AS I CAN - TO BE A CONQUERER FOR HIM, because I LOVE Him sooo, soooo very much.

What I found very odd about all this, is that when I started making these choices in my life and asking for forgiveness, forgiving others, uprooting these ugly roots of bitterness that so deeply entangle me, well, I started getting passionate about my art again. And I mean VERY passionate about it. I've been drawing again, with a Godsend of a friend who met because I saw one of her gorgeous drawings and immediately had to introduce myself, we immediately hit it off right away, and now she comes over just about every week to draw together. And now I have the blessing of being able to try to paint again as well because of another one of my Godsend friends who was sooo sweet that she sat down in Hobby Lobby for like who knows how long and literally sat with EVERY lap easel in her lap to find the lightest one for me for my birthday knowing that I can't paint because of my pain, and so she knew that if the easel was light enough, I could do so (isn't that such great love?) that I might be able to paint again - I am soooo truly blessed!!!

In fact, we're hoping to start up a little group of artists who can come and pray and read the bible and do art together we're sooo inspired by all this. God is soooo good!!! And what I've noticed so fully and truly is that in order to truly get rid of all the filth inside - the anger and bitterness and unforgiveness - is to fully fill our minds with praise and all that is pure and lovely. As the Bible says:

 Philippians 4:1-9

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

² I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. ³ Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Final Exhortations

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

So basically, I've learned that I have to get my heart right by forgiving those who hurt me, by becoming a peacekeeper rather than someone who tries to constantly fight or be "the one who's always right all the time" and by giving up this spirit of arrogance and rebellion that I've had for FAR too long - something that at times I'd confuse with confidence and pride and get all mixed up until I was all twisted up inside. But by coming to God DAILY first with a heart of praise, thanking Him for all that IS good in my life, praising Him for His Glorious creation - one that is soooo breatakingly beautiful and that I have the privelage to try to re-create WITH Him as I do my art and spend time with Him in worship. There is almost nothing more that I love to do than to sit alone with God and paint with Him by my side, or draw with Him out in nature, marveling at all the glorious beauty that he has created! My, what a Majestic and Artist and Gifted God do we serve!!! <3 The more you sing praises to Our King, the more that peace and tranquility creeps into your heart and soul, as the light, the GLORIOUS LIGHT pushes out the darkness because where there is LIGHT no darkness can reign. Halleluiah! I am so on FIRE for our King, let that fire NEVER falter, let it never grow dim or burn out, but Lord, let it grow and grow until it is all that people see when they see me - You and Your light in me. AMEN to that, right?!

"Meet Me By the Bridge Tonight" - A Work in Progress and

"Meet Me By the Bridge Tonight"     9" x 12"      Acrylic on Canvas

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much I have missed you all! I've missed writing, blogging, painting, reading up on all of your own blogs and updates and all the other things that we bloggers have to do to maintain any sort of readership (of which I'm sure my own is practically gone by now!) and that any of us bloggers or non-bloggers alike have to do to just keep ourselves entertained if we aren't incredibly overwhelmed with stuff to do. Anyways, I truly do greatly apologize for my absence and hope there aren't any hurt feelings out there - I know I need to send out some prints and paintings and that I am more than just a bit behind in all this -  but unfortunately such is the life of one in my condition, with Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, SRI Joint Problems and more (the list is steadily growing - uh-oh!) - and it's already hard enough to even get out of bed each day let alone try to order and mail out all my free little prizes. But I will get them done one by one, because I'm a girl of my word, even if it may take more time than I had originally hoped for.  But hey, at least they're free, right?! That's gotta help count for something! ;0)

I've been thinking lately about whether or not I can really do this considering my condition, and for now at least I just really want to focus on getting as much caught up as I can on all my projects this year so that I can get myself and this sweet little business of mine off to a good clean start this year with a nice clean slate! I'd love to not "owe" any prizes to anyone anymore, and I hate having that feeling hanging over my head constantly, especially the guilt. So for those of you who are waiting on prints if you don't mind waiting a little longer that would be absolutely wonderful to me - and don't worry - I have in no way forgotten about you! In fact it's quite the opposite, I think of you all the time, and I feel so bad that I haven't been able to get your prints to you sooner. I'm so sorry if I've frustrating anyone with the wait, but things have been just a bit hectic around here if you can imagine it. Please just try to be patient - or rather, I should say please just try to continue to be patient - you already have been spectacularly patient as it is, and I feel awful asking you to wait even longer, but this is my life and I'm getting hit hard with the realities of my weaknesses and my disabilities left and right right now and it's just not pretty. In fact, it downright hurts. But just so you know, I'm trying to add in a little extra something to anyone who's gifts or prizes are late right now just to try to make it up to you - I know it's not much but it's the best I can do at the moment. I just want everyone to be happy and pleased in the end and at the very least when all's said and done the one thing I need to remind myself of is that I truly AM very sick and these really ARE free prizes, so as long as I get them to you as soon as I possibly can we should be good in the end. But the sooner the better, right?!  =D

And once they're all done, I'll hold my FINAL CONTEST, the one that was supposed to be held in December but had to be postponed for personal reasons. Since I didn't do it in the 12 months time that I had aimed for (oh man, I was sooo, sooo close!), I figured I'd like to do it once all the others were accounted for first, so as not to add extra stress so that it could be perhaps a bigger or better prize in the end that way. Who knows - we'll have to see what happens, but I can't wait for the day to come up with and then announce that one!!!

Speaking on the subject of contests and prizes, the painting above is one of the paintings that was a prize a long while back in February - it was back in the beginning before people other than just my friends read my blog, so of course one of my friends won the prize (go figure, right?! Haha!). =D  Anyways, I had sooo hoped to finish it much earlier in the year for them, but was really surprised by the difficulty of certain aspects of it, especially when it came down to laying down the bridge. I hadn't anticipated the architecture of it to get the better of me, or at least not to that degree, but oh how wrong I had been! It literally took me weeks, perhaps even months, for me to realize that I had painted in the base columns incorrectly, putting them in at an angle exactly similar to the shadows that follow alongside them, which was ALL wrong. You see, in real life they would run parallel to the horizon, not diagonal to it, which was a shocker to me for some reason though it makes perfect sense logically speaking once you really think about it.

Already I feel like I've spent so much time on this piece and yet I still have what feels like so far to go on it -  I mean, if you look, you can see I've only just begun to lay in the cherry blossoms, and they're all floating in mid-air as of yet, so pretty soon they'll be getting some branches to hang from but even then they still have more layers they need to make them look full and complete like a true flower in bloom. This painting has definitely been an adventure for me, and a great learning experience as well - now here's to hoping my friends like my interpretation of what they were wanting and that they can see it with eyes wide open as it still has a ways to go before she'll be done. Haha, I guess it's a "she" after all - funny, I didn't realize I thought of my paintings in that way before but I guess I really do!  =0)

I really have been dying to get back to the easel on this one but I haven't quite been able to get back into painting yet - I don't know if it's purely emotional or if it's because my body just doesn't quite feel good enough yet to really get the job done - I mostly need to lay around and do simple exercises during the day and after seeing my Physical Therapist he reassured me that it wasn't just in my head, which did me a world of good! Apparently, my body is so weak that it can't even truly support the weight of my own head coming even a fraction of an inch off of my pillow (that's how truly bad it is), at least, not without causing itself intense and agonizing pain. That explains A LOT!!! It's always nice to know that you aren't imagining things, that's for sure!  =0)  But I'm so happy to be working with him and I hope and know that in time if I follow his advice he'll get me back on track - he's done it before and he can do it again. As for right now though, even just getting this post up on here feels like a such a huge victory - one that I can hardly describe, but it's just absolutely fulfilling to say the least!

Well, I hope you are all doing well and I can't wait to go visit you on your own sites and see what you all have been up to while I've been away. Hopefully there will be more posts on my end and much more frequently too - going that long without a post was sooo not cool and I deeply apologize again, and I mean it. I always hate it when I would follow someone and they would just drop off the grid for months and months at a time, with no explanation ever given. I would check back and they'd put up a single post or maybe two and then off they'd go again, not to be seen for almost a year if at all. That's not what I want for this blog and not what I want you to feel when you come here. So I will try my hardest to work harder for you. It might mean more photography and less painting, or perhaps just more works in progress than paintings completed in a day, especially since we've yet to see any rain and rain is my absolute arch nemesis and my best friend at the same time since we so desperately need it to not go into a drought. I just wish I could find somewhere more permanent that I could stay during the rainy season over here that would be perfect - unfortunately living somewhere outside of the rainy season to stay warm during the storms with my boys is a bit unrealistic - but, oh how awesome that would be! Oh well, I got some really awesome days this winter with all three of my boys that I'll treasure forever, and I'll just have to try harder to be up on here on my blog more often, as much as I can, but in the meantime, I hope and pray you have a wonderful day. Take care and God bless, my friend!

WORK IN PROGRESS - Watercolor Painting "Silhouetted Shadows"

WORK IN PROGRESS - "Silhouetted Shadows"

Here's a little watercolor work that I started while waiting between my appointments the other day. I was absolutely entranced by the delicate silhouetted shadows of the leaves of the bush next to me, balanced harmoniously with the shimmering, clamoring leaves of the trees above. It was just begging to be painted. But for some reason, my plein air version just doesn't quite do it for me, and now that I'm back in the studio I don't exactly know what to do with it. So, that's where you come in. Any ideas on what I might be able to do to make this painting feel more complete? I was thinking perhaps a baby blueish colored wash dripping down from the top, perhaps adding salts to make the results more fun and interesting and well, just downright cool. I love salted watercolors. And salted toffees. And salted caramels. And mochas. And Hot Chocolates. And, well, any form of salted candy/chocolate/drink etc. Awww man! Now I'm HUNGRY! Oops... Anyways, I'd love to hear from you any ideas you might have. And I thank you in advance for your help!!! =D

Work In Progress - Paint and Draw Together's "Coffee Time"

Work in Progress:  "Coffee Time"

This painting is nowhere near finished, but I just wanted to post my progress anyways. It's based off of a photograph by Lela Stankovic, who host's an amazing site for aspiring artists called "Paint and Draw Together." On the site you get together with other artists and all create off of the same photograph and then critique each other's work with positive feedback and ideas for areas of growth. I have been following this site for a long time and always secretly dying to join along, but I never quite got up the courage to do so, and at the time I so rarely found time to paint that I didn't want to spend my precious minutes on copying someone else's photos. But now as I'm finding more and more time to paint, I finally feel motivated enough to give this a shot, and I especially loved this months picture as it has such dramatic lighting and looks like it's a classical baroque piece. It's stunning. I hope in the end I give her photo some justice, and am already having a blast working on it.

"Beads of Dew" - An Expressionist Painting

"Beads of Dew"     4" x 5"     Acrylic on Canvas Board

I'm running super late on posting today's painting, because most of my time was spent relaxing after having overdone it yesterday, and the rest was spent on working on another painting I'm not quite finished with. This one actually isn't finished yet either, but only because I'm waiting to apply a special layer of glass beads to the top after the paint dries. But still, as a stand alone I still really like how it turned out and can't wait to see how it changes after adding that extra "umph!" I'll repost it on here as soon as it's really done. =)

Well, it's off to bed for me. I am beyond exhausted and have a whole day of appointments tomorrow, quite literally. And when I say literally, I actually mean literally, not figuratively (such a pet peeve over here!!!). Yup, I have appointments from 11am to 5:30 pm. And they're about an hour away, or maybe a little less depending on traffic, so.... Yeah. Quite the day.  =/

Well, good night all! Wishing you all a great night's rest! =)

Work In Progress: "The Oyster Thief" - Part 2

I've added another layer to the rocks, basically just by painting in the darks and defining the edges of each one. I still need to add further definition to them and then add in the sand speckles, as well as to make some look as if they are in the shadows, but it's coming along nicely so far. I'm also still debating if I want to put in my little pink anemone things or the two shrimp I had planned to add onto the large rocks. I don't want to clutter this painting up too much, and I'm worried it might. Decisions, decisions...

Work In Progress: "The Oyster Thief" - Part 1

Here's my newest addition to "The Secret Lives of Animals" Series. It's actually kinda funny - I started this painting on a camping trip years ago, as a realistic portrayal of an octopus, but after finding it again, I realized not only was it all wrong drawing-wise,  but the octopus was way too off center to be on his own. So I've re-purposed this painting, by just repainting the whole thing, and now I love it! I obviously have a very long way to go on it, seeing as it's only really got the first layer of underpainting done, but I'm excited to see this one progress and can't wait to see it finished!

Basic Underpainting

I've added in the first layer of rocks here

Work In Progress: "Caught Like A Deer" - Pt. 2

Last night I had my mind set on painting, and luckily everyone else decided to go to bed early. So I started on this again, laying in the first layer of background, and having started on the trees earlier in the day. I plan on blurring the edges of the tree in the middle, in order to push it back and to draw less attention to it. So far I'm loving the quality of light I'm getting (sorry the image is so bad, it's from my phone which has a horrible camera on it) and am hoping I can keep the painterly quality of the background as I go along. I'm really striving to create dappled light as it comes through the trees, and have been dry brushing glazes of greens and yellows and buttercream (I barely ever use pure white anymore) in circular motions in order to achieve that goal.

I would have tried to finish the first layer of the background completely, but Owen had his mind set on other things and I was interrupted about 15 minutes into my work to nurse him back to sleep. It takes me so long to get into the groove and actually start painting that I was unable to get back into it, but on the plus side I did get my studio mostly clean, so YAY! When it's completely clean I'll post a few pics of it, because I'm always curious how other people organize their spaces, and I've had a few friends that have asked to see it.

My first layer of the actual background with light coming through the trees

I'm not sure if I'll be able to work on this today or not, though I really would love to. I am trying to get more painting in because I really want to start selling my work, and I'm thinking, on the advice of my husband and my friend Shannon, that I probably need about 10 - 15 pieces ready before I can do that. I need to figure out how many I have now, but I think it's only 2 (YIKES!). I sure have a long way to go! Well, I better get crackin'! Have a great day!

Oh, and if you want to see my first post on this painting, click here.

Work in Progress: "Caught Like a Deer..." - Pt. 1

I started on a new painting yesterday, one that I'm quite excited about for some odd reason. I have three different paintings going on right now, and all I want to do is work on this one. Here's what I have done so far:

First pass at my underpainting - this is the scariest part for me!

Second pass at underpainting - all my lights and darks on the deer are blocked in. Now on to the fun part!

I'm trying this out - showing my work in progress that is. I have some reservations about doing so, such as being afraid that showing my work too soon will kill whatever momentum I have going on. But when I think about my favorite blogs, they are the ones that show what is so hard for us artists - our incomplete work! Well, maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but it seems so hard to me to want to open myself up for criticism before I'm ready. I'm hoping to push past this though, and bear my soul for all to see - flaws and all. Maybe this will help my blog and my artwork, and maybe it will hurt. Time will tell. But until then, I invite you on this journey with me, and hope that it will be fun for both of us!  =0)